TAKE YOUR TIME | IT IS OKAY TO NOT BE OKAY

Hi, there beautiful human! How are you doing today? How has your week been? (I really want to know, leave a comment below).

2020 has been an emotionally tough year for a lot of people, myself included and some of us are doing better, others not so well. The months of May through July were some of the toughest months I have experienced so far in my life. And as someone who likes to deal with everything themselves, I thought to share some tips on how I dealt and am still dealing with those low moments.

Before I share, please note that if you can please speak to someone, if you feel like no one in your circle will understand then find someone online or call a helpline in your country or state and speak anonymously to someone. You do not have to go through this alone.

HOW TO DEAL WHEN YOU ARE NOT FEELING OKAY

• Feel your emotions: Stop ignoring how you feel, stop pushing your emotions down it to the side, because one day soon they will burst out when you least expect and it would literally be a pandora’s box. So give yourself permission to feel those things

• Stop shaming yourself for having a hard time: I get it, you have a roof over your head, family and friends who care for you, you seem to have it all but you still do not feel okay and all you can think of is “what right do I have to feel this way?” A human right. When you miss the most important connection in life (one with yourself) it is pretty difficult for anything else to fill that vacuum, so stop feeling ashamed of your emotions.

• Keep Making Plans: Each morning I woke up I made a to-do list, 90% of which I never even touched but I made the list anyway, it made me realise “hey there is still something to be done with this life” “Hey look, we still have plans”. So make a list even when you know you will be in bed all day.

  Write it all out: I wrote it out, the blank pages, the random thoughts, the highs and moments of light and the dark dark thoughts, I even recorded some I just could not write out. it does not have to make sense or be pretty, you can be sobbing but express it, do not leave it floating or roaming inside. If not for anything else but for the brief relief, you will experience.

• Try something different: I started painting randomly when I felt numb I would paint I called it “painting my feelings” and I have no idea what I painted, most look like a 3-year-old’s painting but that’s fine, I enjoyed it and found something to look forward to and gradually just started painting even when I felt good.

• MUSIC: music plays such an integral part of controlling what you feel, please stop listening to sad songs when you are sad, just don’t, I know it feels pretentious listening to happy, popping music when you are down, but music is a medicine for your soul, you to apply the right one needed to it to heal you and not the one you will have an allergic reaction to and then feel worse.

• It takes time: I do not know how else to say this, but it will take time. take your time, allow yourself the time needed to feel and heal.

• It is a rollercoaster: You won’t feel good and remain good, you will have moments where it all starts coming back, gradually or all at once, take a moment, and deal with it.

Know that you are good enough.

You are wanted and needed.

You will get through.

You belong here.

You have a Purpose.

Remember you are Loved and Valued.

Stay Shining Lovelies.

– THE BLACKSCRIBBLER