Dear Fear,

I would ask how you are, but I do not care. You have pitched a tent so deep in my mind that its roots are soul deep in my spirit. We once had a deal in the falsehood of protection, which had me signing away my rights to live before, I could breathe; very well played. This letter is to inform you of implemented changes following the meeting had with reality; you know, the one people often describe as a “wake up call”? Yes that. We have concluded that you be exiled from this establishment that is ME and go plant your roots elsewhere.

Before you hit me with some sentimental memories we had; like the time we made feeble plans, so in a case of failure we had an excuse. Or the other time when you convinced me to quit in advance, because the future is scary, and God forbid, we fail. Ah, those ideas that were tagged too elaborate and we had to down size just to avoid unnecessary complications. Oh, and lest I forget all the times we procrastinated till the plan evaporated in the name of an “air tight” plan. Jeez those fun times, yes, I recall. And for those I will be eternally grateful, because without them I would still be stuck with the theorized evidence of what an effective and efficient plan should look like. My future would be built on the ignorance of my past, now I know the middle ground between over planning and lack of planning.

Ah yes, your greatest weapon FAILURE! You see I had a talk with her and boy was I floored. You made her out to be the incarnate of devil himself, whereas she is just a stepping stone. Truth is we need failure in our lives, have you imagined what a boring blur life would be without fails? To just try and get it right the first time all the time, man just thinking about it stresses me.

I won’t be a fool and say being greeted by failure is sweet in the moment or that it doesn’t break my spirits, but all she (failure) wants is to be accounted for in our plans. I have decided from here on out that in my plans would be a plan to fail. To aim for success with an expectation of failure.

Aim for success with an expectation of failure.

Yes, it sounds absolutely bunkers but when you expect something to go wrong somewhere, even though you do not know what or when, there is a preparation and agility you have, a readiness to learn, fix it and move on. It keeps you on your toes, you are mentally ready, and you have a critical eye.

So dear fear, your hold over me is broken and though I still see the imprint of your grips I am sure it will heal in time. And for your seeds in my soul fighting to bear fruit in my mind, it is my mission to make all that is me an infertile soil for you.

With lots of love and sympathy for you,

The Blackscribbler.

STAY SHINING LOVELIES

Questions of the day: What is it that you are scared of? and How do you cope with fear?

PHOTOS BY: The Blackscribbler

MODEL: Nesrine Boukich