YOU NEED TO LET GO | WHAT IS FORGIVENESS?

Hey ScribeSquad, how we doing? Been a little while, I feel like I have neglected you guys a bit, anyway, today I want to address us on a certain issue, yes; FORGIVENESS.

PS. Check out my YouTube video on forgiveness HERE

I hear lots of people say “forgive and forget”, and I see quotes on the benefits of forgiving, but no one tells me HOW TO FORGIVE, how do I forgive someone who hurt me when I still feel the pain? How do I forget when the scars look at me every day? How do you not teach a being who is vengeful in nature HOW to forgive and just expect me to know how.

Watch a TEDx talk of a woman who forgave the man who killed her brother and mother HERE

After watching the video above I realized how much i needed to fix up, because i am that one person who is quick to anger and slow to forgive which is not a good character trait.

So, today I am here to share my process…it is still in progress, but we are getting there.

In my quest to figure out how this whole forgiveness thing works, I had to understand what forgiveness truly was; Forgiveness is not a feeling, Forgiveness is not forgetting, Forgiveness and trust are separate, and Forgiveness is a CHOICE.

So why should I choose to forgive? In knowing why, you should forgive you figure out how to forgive.

Forgiveness is a personal journey, do not rush the process, there is no timeline. It is does not happen by saying “I forgive you”, forgiveness is a mental action. And so, in order to forgive you need to process the anger, hurt, pain and consequences the action or words have caused you. And if needed talk about the hurt.

Forgiveness is when you see the scar and you can touch it and tell its story; WITHOUT FEELING THE HURT.

AND NO AFTER FORGIVING SOMEONE, THINGS DO NOT MAGICALLY BECOME OKAY.

You do not become less guarded, just because you have forgiven and you do not stop suffering the consequences of their actions in your life just because you forgave them. However, you do not have the extra weight of anger, hurt and pain.  

Ask yourself, if I did this would I want to be forgiven?

Forgiveness is for you so do not expect anything in return, not remorse, an apology, understanding or sympathy.

QUESTION OF THE DAY: Have you ever struggled with forgiving someone, how did you do it

Have a lovely week ahead and see you on Thursday.

 STAY SHINING LOVELIES

PHOTOGRAPHER: THE BLACKSCRIBBLER

MODEL: VANESSA