WORDS THAT HURT | MENTAL HEALTH DAY

Today is mental health day and I wanted to touch on verbal abuse. It is the most common and underrated form of abuse. We tend to forget that words hurt as much as, probably more than physical blows, I remember as a child when my dad would talk to me, I start crying and normal Nigerian parent response is “why are you crying? Did I touch you, oya let me beat you so you have a reason to cry”? Little do they know that the severity of the words demoralizes you beyond words and frankly I would rather they beat me. So here is a piece in honor of this day. Enjoy.

Hi, my name is Foolish idiot, I am a freak and a whore. I disgust people and apparently, I come from a long line of weirdos, you see yesterday my mother said I was a mistake and she was so disappointed to be associated with such a disgrace.

So, hi nice meeting you. In class today, it was made known that I am a stupid dummy because I got 5/10 and when I got home dad said I can’t possibly be his child, mum must have cheated on him, he can never be the father of a retard.

Hello, my name is foolish idiot but sometimes I go by ugly loser because I am a lame nerd who stuffs her face in books and can’t have a proper conversation without acting like a freaking alien. Apparently, I must have been dropped on my head as a child cause I ‘ain’t’ right up there.

So, hello to you too, did you know I am an attention seeking slut who should do the world a favor and kill herself because no one likes me, and no one will ever like me, I mean who could possibly like a fake ignorant hopeless piece of trash.

So yes, it is nice to meet you. You who carelessly throw these words at me and mark my soul with a little piece of anger and hurt, you who bangs at the door of my mind with the ammunition of harsh words and scornful remarks. Yes, it is funny, of course you were angry, but each word you have said is glued to my skin, never to be erased, so I walk around enclosed in darkness with the hope that the words do not leak out and shame me.

Hi, I am a human being and I have feelings. The words of your mouth can break me, so thread lightly.

I would not lie by pretending I too am not guilty of using some of these words, be it amongst friends in a funny ha ha way or when someone does something that pisses me off, (especially road rage, OMG! I will finish you with my words) but that doesn’t make it right. Yes, the person might seemingly “deserve” your lash out but remember how it felt when someone used related words on you. You need to be more in control of your words, there have been times (especially online) when I was so tempted to say mean or hurtful words, in fact I have typed it out, but I would recoil and just scroll past. Obviously, there are lots of provocative things around us and you would have to be a saint not to react, but the difference between online and in person is that online you have a chance to take it back quickly but in person, it lands and sticks.  Always remind yourself that there is a human being on the receiving end of your words.

We need to learn to guard our minds, no one is without offense. We as humans are incredibly annoying, but when you are in a situation where you are constantly run down and made to feel worthless please find a way out. Yes, it is easy for me to sit here and say find a way out but really, there is always a way out. Be it a family member to talk to your parents, a teacher to talk to that student, something. Do not think you have no other option than to sit and take it all, because after a while you become a manifestation of the words that you are drenched in.

Remember that some people who curse you down are already down, do not let them take you with them. People are bitter and unhappy and would stop at nothing to make you feel how they feel. Personally, what I do when someone says something hurtful to me, in my head I tend to say “these words are an evidence of what they feel, this is not about me” it doesn’t stop the hurt but it helps.

Please take care of your minds and please be cautious of people’s minds.

Thank you.

 STAY SHINING LOVELIES

PHOTOS BY: AKRITI et THE BLACKSCRIBBLER

MODELS: AKRITI et THE BLACKSCRIBBLER