WHEN DOES SELFLESSNESS BECOME SELF-SABOTAGE?

Hey ScribeSquad, how has the week been? Mine has been positively exhausting. Obviously, I have a mini Storytime with a side of life lesson to share with you today, so enjoy.

Recently I decided to be a ‘good friend’, offering my help without much thought i.e knowing the full details or consequences. At that point, all that mattered was ‘this person needs your help’ plain and simple. Fast-forward a week later, realization sets in; I gave more than I should have, and my act of kindness has turned into a discomfort, and nothing can be done about it.

So here I am, pissed, miserable, whining in my head, and regretting my decision. No one forced me, I offered, and at this point my only thought is; “who send me message?”. This got me thinking about how often this happens, hence the question; When does selflessness become self-sabotaged?

I understand that the world thrives on little acts of kindness, and we are taught by moral and religious standards to aim for selflessness. However, there needs to be a line. So how do we know when to draw said line? (ps. stay till the end for an unexpected solution to self-sabotage)

Not seen my last blog post? Click HERE

At what cost? Some people might say selflessness is indeed about denying one’s self and putting others first, and I agree. But what good is it to make others happy while you sit there angry, hurt and miserable? If you find yourself miserable about an act of kindness, then that defeats the purpose. Being selfless might not be pleasurable, but there should be a sense of satisfaction that comes with it. So, if you find yourself loathing and cursing then maybe reconsider.

Selflessness is not trade by barter, do not give someone your joy in exchange for their misery.

Your motives: Evaluate the reasons behind said selflessness, are you doing it for clout? Do you just want it as positive karma? If you are after some sort of reward, then that isn’t being selfless. Yes, I am aware that we live a reward system life. But there is a difference between a child who does the chores without being told because they want to and gets praised, versus a child who does them so they can be praised. Selflessness should be about you genuinely wanting to put a smile on some’s face because you can.

Never let guilt or obligation be a motivation because that defeats the sole purpose to selflessness.

There is so much to be said on this topic, but I rest my case today. We need to aim for balance in life, do not be so selfless to your own detriment and do not be selfish. Know when to do what.

It is OKAY to not be in a position to offer help.

Check out Inlp’s solution to self-sabotage you weren’t expecting HERE.

Have you ever been in a situation where you regretted being helpful?

STAY SHINING LOVELIES

Have an amazing weekend

MODEL: JASMINE

PHOTOGRAPHER: THE BLACKSCRIBBLER